It is too much! What can I do???

Hare krsna dear pravu ji and matajeees.my humble respect..
What i would like to add is that my dad has gone upto the limit of drinking alcohol and smoking all day and night. I am too much extra worried about his health. As recently my friend dad had xpired from drinking tooo much alccohol and smoking..i am so much tensed with that and my litle pray doesnt work on it and he is never ever instrsted in krsna conc. So although he earns for family hes in total 100%in ignonorance and m too much helpless. I knoe no witch doctor or sugestion or conseling wuld help him and i am sure krsna can do it in a moment to make him real hapy. And i had taken conseling from senior vaisnava bt dnt turn well......so what should i do????? Its been more then 25 yrs and i am in desprate mood to help him but confused......what shall i do...my mom had agreed me to stay as brahmacari but i waaana change him..i am on k.c for past 3 yrs and i reallly love him and wanna change him....he dnt like bhajan kirtan.and watch all day rubish and eat rubish...i can i do......??? Its on the heightss

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Replies

  • Hare krishna, nice reply.
    • E-Counselor

      Thank you ,He should assimilate these instructions to recover his father's position.Strong faith in Krishna is required.

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krishna  Abijeet! Look you are a Brahmacari-devotee of Lord Sri Krishna who is Yogeswar. Keep faith in Krishna and thing will change in due course. 

    Best way to remove such addict is  as follows:

    1) Feed him delicious Krishna Prasasdam from ISKCON or from your home after offering to the Lord. By Krishna-Prasada Srilla Prabhupada could change all addicted hippies in to happies in Krishna Consciousness.Certainly, your dad can not deny any delicious Krishna prasad.

    2) If possible take him to ISKCON center during Kirtan and prasadam time only. Do not try to preach him with any philosophy in the beginning.

    3) Chant extra rounds for the sake of your father in front of the deities. 

    I believe, this will certainly work. Try it.

    Haribol!

  • I like the challenge I'm assuming U-Chant & urFather-has feet, shins, knees they'd, hips, stomach chest etc. Rembering
    "where there is the GodHeads ignorance cannot exist"
    Purify Him with or without Him knowing it, pray to RoddahHarey Krishna at His feet. in your mind or find a pitchers and support His image in your daily practice & then-some! Don't be afraid to expand & contract your energies & awareness physically & energies emotionally as you call upon the GodHeads. Aim to document through direct observation any positive changes in the next week and I'll kick in 15 min twice a day myself if you send me Hi's name & location.
  • The comments of many advanced devotees are below. Once your father has sobered up physically and then began to go to AA, I would recommend Kaliyugaholics Anonymous (now a facebook closed group [by request]). It aims to help both addicts and family of addicts who also have some relation to Krishna Consciousness. It delves deeply into topics such as lust, anger, greed as well as Kali Maharaja's influence on this planet. Using many techniques from 12 twelve step it also aims at training devotees and new devotees alike to identify and deal with the underlying causes for so many of the ills of today's world.

  • You go to Guru to learn matters of the spirit? You don't go to a boxer to learn how to be a priest. And you would usually not go to a priest to learn how to be a boxer.

    In ancient mythology there is a centaur known as Chiron. Chiron is know as the wounded healer. Shamans, (Guru's) in other cultures, most famously in the amazon are known as wounded healers. Shamans, the person who has entered her own death, illness, or madness and found the path through it with the help of Spirit.  And in that journey the wound is healed for the shaman and because of that journey the shaman is able to work with the spirits to assist the healing of others.  

    In simple terms- Go to someone who has been through it. Most addiction specialists, some better then others, are in fact wounded healers. They will rarely self disclose to you, but most have been through it.

    We spend our lives trying to avoid suffering or avoid this and that, when in fact it is trial by fire. If noone got burned there would be noone to show us how to step through the flames.

    Please, don't learn how to box from a priest..

    Much love

  • shudra or vaisya medicine doctors cant help even them self , so how they can help your father ?

    in the vedic society , brahmanas  and only brahmanas are asked for important advice ,

    but because this is  modern kali yuga, then what to expect.

    vedic scriptures like srimad bhagavatam gives all answers to human questions,

    so, what is the need of asking anyone else. ?

  • Hello,

    I am so sorry to hear this. Addiction is very harsh, and it is equally as harsh for the families.

    You had said you want to help him and to change him. Remember that is what YOU want. Rashmi had good advice. Although instead or along with AA I would suggest Al-Anon, which is an AA based program for family members exclusively. Finding a professional to do an intervention can help big time. Simply loving them and helping them as best you can without putting yourself or your family in danger of any kind of damage as well. Many times people who are addicted...just like many people on the spiritual path or any path really, need to hit a bottom of some sort in order to change. A state of desperation. Having a job and having every other part of life together prevents the bottom sometimes for a while. You also have to meet a person where THEY are at, not where you want them to be. He may need to detox first. He will be able to think very little of spiritual matters until the body is in order. If he shakes in the morning he will certainly have to detox, it is likely he will anyway. Alchohol detox requires a hospital because it is very dangerous. After the body gets in order which takes some time, then the mind will have to get in order. Abstaining from drinking is only the beginning and easiest part. The mental complexities formed around the addiction can take quite a bit of time, but with that time most assuredly gets better. Only after the body and mind are healed in some respect can spirituality be really addressed. And YOU may want him to join Krishna consciousness, but maybe in sobriety he finds another higher power or authority, his higher power may turn out just to be AA itself. In that case, let it be. Whatever works for him. You can also suggest to whatever professional you seek antibuse. It is a medication that makes you sick if you drink, if you take it of course. And that is harm reduction. Many times just getting the addict a short break from the addiction is enough to make them thing long term. In either case I would personally consult with a professional, preferably one who is proficient in interventions and see what they recommend. In the meantime, love.

    Sorry for your troubles and I wish you well, truly.

  • Hare Krishna Prabhuji!

    Dandvat!!!!!!!!!!

    PAMHO!!!!!!!!!!
    AGTSP!!!!!!!!!!

    Radhey! Radhey!

    Prabhuji i can understand your problem very deeply as i also have gone through on the same track.  Prabhuji it is very very difficult to quit the alchohal for a person who is consuming it for last 25 year or more than that.  See now this alchohal is been mixed in your father's blood and and it has become a addiction or part of the daily routine.

    Yes he can quit the drinking but for that only he will have to be serious, until he will not have the strong will power till then it is bit difficult. See family members also have to play the chief role in the family to quit this problem. Your mother should be very supportive, you should be positive and other family members also.  Do not much argument with your father and same should instruct to your family member also.

    Love your father a lot, tell him very politely and do not get irritate.  Always tell him that how much all of you care about him.

    Pray from the Lord Shri RadhaKrishna for their mercy.  You will sure get some solution of this problem.  Lord Shri RadhaKrishna will sure help you in this problem.

    Your Humble Servant

    Bhuwan Dutt Bawari

    Hare Krishna

  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Abijeet Prabhu,

    PAMHO.

    Pls contact me rashmi.khaitan@ril.com. I need to know which city your father is located. I can give you some leads maybe of doctors who I trust. They can in turn put you on to the right specialist doctor.

    Haribol,

    Your servant.

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