Hare krsna
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
It’s hard to imagine people working together without at least some degree of confrontation. After all, we live in a world of conflicting interests, desires, and preferences. We have different standards and expectations. There are so many issues and people to deal with, that an occasional confrontation seems inevitable. At times, you may have to confront someone in order to achieve a desired result, shake someone up or make things happen.
While confrontation may be inevitable, they don’t necessarily have to seem like a war or lead to hurt or angry feelings, stress, or disappointment. Instead, it’s possible to confront someone (or be confronted) in a gentle, effective way that leads not only to your desired result, but also in a way that brings the two of you closer together personally or professionally.
It seems to me that most people are too aggressive and defensive during confrontations. They lose their humanity and their humility. They approach the issue in hostile way, as if they are right and the other person is wrong. It’s “me against you,” or “I’m going to teach you.” The assumption seems to be that confrontations are by definition confrontational, and that being aggressive is the best approach.
If you’re too aggressive, however, you’re going to seem adversarial to others, thus encouraging them to become defensive. The people you confront will see you as difficult, as if you are the enemy. When people are defensive, they become poor listeners, incredibly stubborn, and seldom change their point of view or see their contribution to a problem. They don’t feel respected and they lose their respect for you. So, if you are confronting someone in an aggressive way, chances are you’re going to run into a brick wall.
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