Hare Krishna, PAMHO
I have a dilemma
I was following all the regulative principles for a long time and I felt like I was moving in the right direction. Something happened though and I tripped up in my practice and have not been able to get back on track. I am so confused and frustrated. I have fallen down spectacularly especially with regards to "controlling my tongue." I don't eat meat but I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder and have been severely underweight so am very confused about what I can or can't eat. I was trying to follow a satvic diet but apparently was not getting enough calories. I started bingeing and have not been able to stop. Now I'm afraid that if I die I will have to take birth in the body of pig or something...
I want to have a good relationship with God and follow Srila Prabhupad's instructions but I have some difficult feelings that seem to be blocking me from acting on this desire and I'm not sure what do do about this.
If anyone reads this please pray for me that somewhere someday I will figure out how to be a good devotee and find sanity and peace....
Hare Krishna, Thank you so much for your prayers.
DC
Replies
yes, good advice! Siddhartha Prabhu! Krishna's Prasadam is not different form Him. Honoring Prasadam is also a service!
All glories to Krishna Consciousness which is sooooo simple to perform even for women, children, yavanas, mlechhas..........!!!! :-D
Hare Krishna dear Daniel Prabhu,
please accept my humble obeisances! all glories to Srila Prabhupada!
i understand Your situation very nicely. and from such like a depression most people pass across.
Soul's need is to serve, to love and to be loved.
There are 3 things from which a living entity gets love:
1. from food
2. from opposite sex associations
3. from God by attentive chanting His Holy Names
without love no one can survive!
When people do not have love from God (i mean when they forget about Him) they try to fulfill empty heart with other 2 above. From opposite sex or from food.
This simple example we can see in our own life:
For example, why usually women after marriage get over weighted? the reason is after marriage they stop to take care of their physical beauty and lose the attention of a husband. the second source of love is stopped. Now they start to consume large amount of food. and become fat.
But man even though they are not young they still can have love from opposite sex relations, because of that they are not to much attached to eating.
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But when person starts to serve to God chanting His Holy Names he will get love from Him and this love can fill heart so much so that there is no need for other things.
But if one stops serving and chanting again urge for love will appear.
In this way, understanding this simple process please, find some Devotees nearby, visit Temple Programs, Kirtans and for all Your pleasure eat Krishna Prasadam and tongue won't be unchaste anymore but an obedient servant of You-soul.
Your servant,
Hmm yes.
Thank you!
I guess I make things too complicated in a way. I know I haven't been meeting my soul's needs lately and that's all that really matters.